Less than nothing

So I honestly forget that anyone else but me runs into this funny, little blog from time to time. I heard from one friend that another of our friends had to remind herself not to compare after reading one of my posts. That makes my heart sink.


So today, I just want to share how much I am so not "Super Mama" ... Ugh. Comparison. I am sooo guilty of it. It offers nothing good, but robs me of much.

That said, I want to admit something to you. This shouldn't come as any revelation...Truth be told, I have trouble just as much as the next mama does. I am a giant mess of a woman... Truly. I have days (like today) where breakfast isn't served until 9:15am and we don't get to anything remotely resembling school until later in the morning. Oh the days where everywhere I look there appears a pile of something that I "should be getting to" or a pile that hasn't been looked at in so long, I don't know why it exists. Oh, and if you could see the pile of laundry waiting to be folded in my room right this moment... I can no longer see the chair beneath its weight. Seriously, no Super Mama lives at this address. I can promise you this.

It's in these days, weeks, seasons or whatever you'll call them, that I remind myself of Charlotte Mason's quote on "Education being an atmosphere" and look to God to redeem my feeble attempts and failures. I ask for His wisdom to show me all the educational "nuggets" He has so graciously supplied me with each day... afterall, aren't these those things most worthy of sharing? His lessons?

And when I turn my heart and mind toward Him, I find my attitude changes and that I do have something to offer those around me - namely the kiddos. I have Him. When I take moments in my day to really ask Him to fill me, He offers Himself so that I may have something of value to pour out to those He has entrusted to me. Now, if only I would stop continually in my day to seek Him fully. I confess I have too many days where I am only a half-hearted follower - days where ask to be filled and then run away, consumed in the busyness of my day, not even allowing myself the time or attention that is needed to be filled...and let me tell you, it shows. You all may not see it, but believe me...this is just as much me as the parts that are revealed.

I can do nothing on my own but mess things up. I can do nothing of worth or value without God. Nada. I try though. How sad is that? I know I can do nothing of worth and value apart from God, but I am stubborn and prideful and I try. Honestly, those days are just down right ugly. I have an ugly heart and an even uglier attitude. I like to sit in on my own pity-party for all too many precious moments and literally decide not to use the gift of that day for Him. I can't say it enough, those are some UGLY days! My sinful self rages fully. I am short with my kids. I am exhausted before I begin anything and typically am so caught up in my own selfishness that I can't see past her for more than a brief moment. The day starts and ends with me and that is when I peek in the mirror at the end of that day and realize just how much I have wasted. That's when I am most often able to realize more clearly the astonishing amount of grace God has bestowed on me and I cling to the promise of a fresh start.... He makes ALL things NEW! What a promise!

I need Him. I am tryin' to grow more and more aware of how he's gifted me and how to best share those gifts with others - not to place us next to each other in comparison, but to sincerely offer help. I know I need the help of Christ through the hands of others. I need it. I would be lost without it. We need each other.

We need each other. We say it, but we don't often take each other up on it. I need you to teach me, dear sisters, through the gifts God has so richly bestowed on you. I don't have all the answers. I am not Super Mama... but I can be the very best God made me to be. I can use my gifts as fully as I am able and serve others with them. You can as well. I need you, Sister, I need you.

Let's work on building each other up... in setting aside comparison (I am SO guilty of comparing sometimes) and seek to find the good in others - to really set out to see the treasure that lies in each one of us, beyond these jars of clay...I so want only to appreciate the talents of my friends and family and see all people as the treasures God has created in them. Each person God has sent my direction is a treasure... and may there to help soften my rough edges, to call me out on a few things, or to bring their giftedness to help "round out" my little ones... Oh, girls, I need help. I need help from every direction God brings it. I am grateful for the beautiful people God has enriched my life with. I am awed by how richly he truly has blessed me in this life...

God be all the glory.

Oh, and to all my fellow mamas... please remember how beautiful you are... and just who it is you belong to - You are the daughter of the King of kings. Lift your head and your heart to Him today. He has made something spectacular in you and can't wait for you to share it with those He's placed in your path today.

hugs :)