Inside Out

It's cold outside. It's beautiful, too, but it's cold. I found this photo from Architectural Digest. Isn't it dreamy? I'm finding, lately I want to redo everything in my home to be light, airy, and open with splashes of bright color.

This photo reminds me of quiet reading, blue skies, and fresh, spring air. It also has me wondering if this might be another year of growing into even more of who I really am. Don't we all want that?

Don't get me wrong. I'm authentically me. I just feel like God's continually changing and transforming the way I see His world. I love that He is. I also love that He often seems to provide insight, into the next phase of construction, if you will.

In the last five years or so, I have been drawn to things that make me feel warm, safe, cozy, welcomed. I have craved rich tones, dim lights, and cozy, wood fires. I still love those things. It's in the looking back on these last years, that I can more clearly see how much time God has spent working on building me brand-new on the inside.

I'm talking MAJOR renovations. He needed to clear out some of what I might call my "store bought" notions on how life should look, to make room for something much more unique and special...more of what He had in mind when He knit me together.

So, that I'll affectionately term: my season of phenomenal inside changes...

Here are some definitions of the word: 1Inward character, perceptions, or feelings 2The inner parts or workings 3 within 4 confidential

The inside work can't always be seen. I cried plenty of tears alone in the inky blackness of my room. I prayed many a prayer that only the Father heard. It's possible to share the inside happenings with another, or that onlookers can take notice of changes they see in you... but those only seep from the deep changing happening on the inside... where only God sees.



So, I've said this before, but I'll repeat it again: This just might be yet another big learning year for me. I still don't exactly know what it is I even mean in stating that, but I feel it nonetheless. My hunches tell me perhaps I might be entering a season of outside change... and I'm not talkin' wardrobe and hair (although I've had some dreams on that! literally, my nights have been filled with Etsy fun!)

Outside - a space that conjures images of wispy clouds, gentle breezes, and the soft kisses of sunshine on awaiting cheeks. A place of fresh air, kelly-green grass, and the brilliant, rainbow hues of sweet-smelling flowers.

So what does God have in store? I don't honestly know. We never can exactly tell. But I know I'm in faithful, ever-loving, very present hands. So, I'm excited.

I am down-to-my-bones excited. Perhaps that's a reason I'm drawn to having as many bright colors around me as I possibly can? Maybe they remind me of life outdoors. Maybe they are accurately displaying what it is I'm feeling on the inside. I mean, when you see a extraordinary arrangement of fantastically bright and sunny flowers, don't they make you break into a big, cheeky smile? They do it to me every time. Maybe you're even smiling at the mere thought of them.

Maybe, just maybe, God is planning on taking all of what He's done on the inside and using it to reach, grow, change, transform life all around me...

here on the outside...

I hope so. I'm wanting to learn how to follow Him anywhere, all the while, bringing with me His rich fragrance and indescribable color...

His shades of grace.
and mercy
and love.

Good Stuff

These just happen to be my favorite flowers. I love Gerbera Daisies. I'm thankful God used some of His awesome creative power on these...

They make me smile... really, really big smiles.


Want to know what else I am thankful for tonight?

That God has blessed my life with truly awesome friends. I needed some people to be there for me tonight... And God brought one through this funny, little blog. She commented on a post and God's timing allowed her to be a "calming voice" on the other end of an email screen. When I was lost in a sea of anxious thoughts, I knew there was another friend I could phone, no matter what hour of the night it happened to be over in her place on the world. It was late. I phoned her anyway. I knew, without a doubt, she'd be there for me.

In the instant she answered... She listened. She cried. She prayed.

I am so richly blessed by the rich and diverse friendships in my life. I continue to learn more and more how much I value these beautiful treasures. Not all friendships are like these. And contrary to popular belief, you don't necessarily need a whole bunch of years under your belt for there to be understanding between you. Not every person who bears the label of
"friend" will drop everything they have happening in their busy lives to listen to you or pray with you or fill a need, the instant you call on them...

I am so incredibly thankful for the rich friendships God continues to provide as He moves us around His earth. In every place I have lived, I have met truly incredible people.

So tonight, even as I sit waiting for the medical results to come back, I am filled with peacefulness and a thankful heart. I have friends who were there tonight praying peace over me and my family...and I couldn't be more thankful for them right now. I am filled with His peace. God is good. All the time.

He is the giver of everything...
I'm thankful for the truly beautiful flowers that grow in my garden of friendship.

Life is Good.

Has anyone ever seen the Life Is Good t-shirts? Hubby and I discovered a small display while on a coffee date a month ago. This shirt was there. What can I say? I want this shirt.

Like everyone else, I have a million and one personal opinions...
I am certain of this one thing:
Not everyone will agree them.

I won't list them out for everyone to ridicule or praise.
That's not the point.

They are mine to have...they are mine to consider...

They are God's to transform...

because I am certain they continue to need refining.



Like you, I'm tryin' to live this thing called "life" out as best I can.

The only thing I found that provides any REAL direction:

God's Word.


I know I'm going to mess a whole lot of things up.

A whole lot.

I'm hoping that with God's endless power and His Spirit working in me, that I might someday stand before Him...

and when He asks me to give a full account of everything I did...

or didn't do...

I'm prayin' I'll hear these words:

"Well done, Child."

It is by His grace and through His mercy alone...

I have any hope whatsoever.



I pray that I learn to faithfully pray
as hard over the seemingly small, day-to-day choices I make,
as I do the big ones...

Every small choice I make today...

Adds up to the total of the life I'm living...

The life I am sharing...

The lives I am shaping...

The hearts I am molding...



There is more on the line today than I can comprehend...


God. Please. Help.

Frustration

I am frustrated.

I won't share with you exactly why that is... I just am.

I don't understand things. or people. or places. or priorities. and sometimes I don't understand how things work. or how people work.

It's time like these, I wish there were simple black and white answers.

I have moments where I wish there were road maps and field guides offering clear explanation of paths. options. directions... both for me and for those I do life with.

I'm frustrated...maybe even a tiny bit irritated.

Even now, I am grateful there is a bigger God who knows the end from the beginning. Who knows the deep reasoning behind every question that bubbles in my brain. Oh that He understands even those deep-seeded reasons which have yet to surface!

Nevertheless, tonight I. am. frustrated. Maybe tomorrow I can begin to let go completely.

Maybe.

Craft Hope

I stumbled on Craft Hope through Ashley's amazing blog...

I just wanted to pass it along to any knitters we have out there. Check out this awesome way to do something you love to do (being creative) and get in on the action that helps someone in need. How cool is that? I highly recommend tuning in to Craft Hope from time to time, to see what creative juices God might just stir up within you in being the hand used to brighten someone else's day. Not the crafty, DIY type??? No problem. By checking out this Etsy store, you can support Doctor's Without Borders and find some awesome one-of-a-kind items!

Be Blessed!!!



The fun stuff in these photos are all available for purchase to help raise money for Doctor's Without Borders and their help in Haiti. So far, this little store has raised over $20,000 toward that end with new items coming! Check it out and help those in need!

I'm so blessed

I just want to say it over and over again...

I am so very blessed!

I have a very healthy family.

I can afford a home filled with stuff (much of which I don't even need).

I have heat.

I have running water and working electricity.

I can read and write.

I have four of the sweetest little blessings tucked warmly into snug beds.

I have a husband who does amazing things for me and likes to surprise me (thank you, babe!)

I have loved so much it hurt.

I have been loved to tears.

I am a mother... a wife... a daughter... a sister... a friend...


And these are just the beginnings of a list that would stretch far beyond the heavens if I were to write each and every blessing down ...

I am blessed. I offer up hearty thanksgiving to the King. I'm am so unworthy of all that Your hand provides. I love you so much. Thank you, Jesus. May all I say and do today reflect who YOU ARE in my life... Amen.

A broken world

I have been meandering the internet this morning. I found my way to familiar blogs that inspire me to go deeper with God. In the mix, I found myself reading the story of another. It turns out, her husband has brain cancer. Last night, just before I found my way to bed, I read of a friend who's husband just now found out he's "cancer free"... but his mom is in the process of losing her hair. I have a high school friend, with two small girls, who is walking her own path with this ugly disease that has seeped into the marrow. I read the note of a friend yesterday explaining how her newborn's days on earth were so much shorter than she'd want for him, then another loss of an unborn child of an adoptive mother, and even as I type she stands to lose yet another child they are desperately trying to adopt - all in a little over one year's time. Lord, I'm searching for understanding.

I know You see each of these, your people. It breaks your heart to see them cry. In all of this, I find myself crying out for you to return...Come, Lord, why won't you come???

Then I stop and consider the friend in her 20s who has yet to release herself to His care. You're waiting waiting for her. I remember those I have listed on my prayer cards who claim to have a faith and knowledge of You and I am earnestly praying it true... I am praying a passion for You might consume them completely. Yes, Lord, I understand... You are waiting for them.

Blessed be the holy name of Jesus.

Dug Down Deep blog tour

Book: Dug Down Deep

Author: Joshua Harris

Summary:

What will you build your life on?

With startling transparency, Joshua Harris shares how we can rediscover the relevance and power of Christian truth. This is book shows a young man who rose quickly to success in the Christian evangelical world before he realized his spirituality lacked a foundation—it rested more on tradition and morality than on an informed knowledge of God.

For the indifferent or spiritually numb, Harris's humorous and engaging reflections on Christian beliefs show that orthodoxy isn't just for scholars—it is for anyone who longs to know the living Jesus Christ. As Harris writes, "I've come to learn that theology matters. It matters not because we want to impress people, but because what we know about God shapes the way we think and live. Theology matters because if we get it wrong then our whole life will be wrong."

Whether you are just exploring Christianity or you are a veteran believer finding yourself overly familiar and cold-hearted, Dug Down Deep will help you rediscover the timeless truths of Scripture. As Harris challenges you to root your faith and feelings about God in the person, work, and words of Jesus, he answers questions such as:

What is God like and how does he speak to me?What difference does it make that Jesus was both human and divine?How does Jesus's death on the cross pay for my sins?Who is the Holy Spirit and how does he work in my life?
With grace and wisdom, Harris will inspire you to revel in the truth that has captured his own mind and heart. He will ask you to dig deep into a faith so solid you can build your life on it. He will point you to something to believe

He's done it again. Joshua Harris' new book is every bit as good as his others, if not better! This book is one you will sit down to read again and again. It is a book that will speak to you no matter where you're standing in your faith walk. In a place in time where so many are saying, and tragically believing, "You believe what you believe and I'll believe what I believe and we'll both be just fine" it reminds us there can only be one truth. The God of the Bible spoke the only truth and it matters. This book helps you dig down and search your own thoughts about God and religion and how you claim to know them as yours... I highly recommend this book! It's fantastic!

And to end, I'd like to quote a bit from his book that really spoke to me:

"It helps me to remember that one day in heaven there will be only one right person.

I'm sorry, but it won't be you. Or me.

It will be God.

Everybody else in heaven will be wrong n a million different ways about a million different things. The Bible tells us that only those who trusted in Jesus Christ, who turned from sin and believed him, will be in God's presence. But on a host of secondary matters, we'll all discover how much we got wrong...

The air of heaven will blow away the fog that so often clouds our vision in this life. In eternity we'll see the silliness of self-righteousness and quarreling over the nonessentials. But we'll also see with piercing clarity just how essential the essentials really are. We'll see just how precious the truths of the gospel really are."

Goodness, there are many words from this book I'd love to share with you, but it's just easier to get your own copy here. Order two and give one to a friend...You'll both be the better for it.

Happy reading!

This was book was provided for review by WaterBrook Multnomah.

My Own New Year's list

This year I'd like to:

Draw so much closer to the Living God, allowing Him to make some significant changes in me.

Create something with my hands every single day.

Ask myself this question when I look into a mirror or into the face of another: Do you see Jesus in me?

Haiti

I was just reading on Beth Moore's Blog about joining her in prayers for those struggling in Haiti. As I stop to linger on the events in Haiti...tryin' to wrap my mind around what the landscape might feel like there for those wandering with no food, no shelter... I just keep wondering if it were our family struggling in a mass of chaos, who would come to our rescue? When all of our family and friends would be struggling around us, we'd need bigger hands to help carry this burden... Only God's hands are big enough to hold all.

I was talking to a dear friend of mine yesterday... about how we can be more of His hands and feet in this world. I marvel at how God provides eyes to see His world more clearly, if we only take the time to look and see. He offers us opportunities daily, to partner with Him in helping those who are lost and struggling in this world... but will we?

The words from the "acceptable gifts" sermon tumble about in my head. As I stare into the faces of each one of our children, there isn't enough in all the world I feel I can give from the abundant blessing they are to us... and then there is the inconceivable gift - S-a-l-v-a-t-i-o-n.

How do we give out of what we have been blessed with? Lord, please show me how to live with Open Hands.

Acceptable Gifts

Our church is kicking off a new sermon series on giving. Eric and I heard this series the very first time we attended Liberty Church. To be honest, it's the reason we ended up there! How many churches can say they had an increase in membership following their yearly sermons on giving?

I have been thinkin' on this week's challenging message. The speaker spoke of Cain and Able...how God found Cain's gift was "unacceptable"... and he noted that God seems to have some type of system for evaluating our gift-giving. They we looked at several verses of Scripture in the New Testament for clues as to what is really an "acceptable" gift in God's eyes. Through Scripture, we determined we are to give out of what we have.

Well, it's easy to try to quickly calculate "what we have" in our American-financial ways of handling this whole giving scenario... but when entering even our incomes here, we'll find that just about every one of us is in the top 1% of wage earners in the world. In essence, we have much...

He went on to discuss that our bounty of blessing extends far past the financial realm (and, by the way, he also indicated the whole 10% as an offering was merely a starting point for giving...and if you research the Bible, you'll find early day believers gave multiple 10%s to God)...
The speaker said he had been watching his child play during a sporting event when he got that moment... If you're a parent, you know what I'm talking about. Where time seems to slow and you're staring at your child and linger on what an unbelievable blessing that child is in your life... and stand amazed that God has chosen to bless you in such a way... The he said something like this:

Have you given an acceptable gift back to the Lord out of that abundant blessing?

That one caused my heart to skip a beat... How do I even begin to give back to Him for such an outpouring? And then my mind began to go over the endless list of abundance that God has poured over my life... and somehow, I know that there are plenty of areas of my life where I'm not giving an acceptable gift....

He also mentioned several other great points about Cain's warning to take care of the sin crouching at his door before it masters him... am I mastered by greed and selfish thinking because I have neglected this crouching sin at my own door? We look at Cain's sin of slaying his brother Able, but I'm not so certain I haven't done the same thing.

Good stuff. Challenging stuff... You really ought to check it out for yourselves and let the Holy Spirit work in your heart as you listen to the message...It's an incredible series... I'm ever challenged by it. I pray this year I grow in Him and offer Him my first-fruits of time spent with Him, instead of my crumbs... I pray I offer Him my best...and that He would find my gifts pleasing because I'm gaining even clearer vision of the heaping hill of blessings over my life... and I pray I give gifts that are acceptable - out of what I have... RICH blessing.

changes

This is going to be a year of great change.

I feel it.

I know it.

My oldest is standing here with a great, big, fat lip - purple and swollen. She sighs, "It feels like my lip will never heal."

"I know, Sweet girl, I know." my reply.

Don't we all carry around deep scars? Bruises that seem to take forever to heal? I pray this year God binds all that is broken in me and makes me whole in Him. I pray His Word cuts deep to the marrow. I pray He will refined me...repair me...making me into something much more like Him than me.

It's gonna hurt at various points - this growing process...but this is to be a year of great changes.

I believe it.

I welcome them.

I need them.

Creativity in the New Year

Okay. So this is officially the first post of the new year...and, um, well, I'm already begin as it's already a full week into it. It's embarrassing to see I have not posted anything since mid-December. I have/had so many posts in the works...so many things God was(and continues) teaching me in the days and weeks leading up to Christmas...but anyway, I'm here now...and so I write...

All I want to do these days is create...everywhere I look around my home, I see endless possibilities for change - for something new made from something old and outdated. I have been craving new... I have started my new exercise regime, started seeking even more creative ways to include healthy veggies into our diets, and started one too many new DIY projects... I am in the mood for an overhaul - inside and out. I'm loving, yes, loving the cozy days of winter. I enjoyed sitting in front of the fire with the kids today and reading to them for over and hour and a half...But boy, am I yearning for fresh dirt, gardening and the smell of fresh cut grass on a warm summer's day. I find myself getting antsy evening considering all these swirling ideas.

Tonight I am reminded God is fully in the business of making ALL things new. He is THE source of raw creativity. Perhaps He's looking me over right now and feeling just the same as me...Hmmmnnn, wouldn't I like to do a bit of overhaulin' and a few DIY projects on her this year...

Oh, I bet He most certainly would. I have to be honest, I certainly could use some heart-overhauling... and a bit of the Master's completely unique creativity infusions...I pray He recreates something beautiful from my lump of unworthy ashes. Goodness, I love the Father... I pray I have a heart willing to fully embrace the changes He has in store for me in the millions of moments that will fill up these days He has so graciously blessed me with.

Happy New Year.