Seriously?

I was with a good friend the other day and had a very surreal moment - the "how the heck did I get here?" moment of life.

Now, please don't misunderstand, I love my life. I feel tremendously blessed to have these 5 children and the life my hubby and I live with them each day. I will admit, that I have had more than a few moments lately where I throw my hands up and claim, "I give up. How did we get here?"

I feel entirely inadequate to parent and educate this handful of five tiny people. I know that God is strong where I am weak... and that he is glorified when I am made nothing. I am nothing. I can't do it all. I am only me. I have these people depending on me... and I am reminded that God wants me to depend on him the way they do on me.

I have children who aren't listening and obeying me and I am reminded how often I turn a deaf ear to my Father. Yet, my kiddos frustrate me with their unwillingness to obey. My Father is ever patient and loving toward me.

I have much to learn from my handful of tiny people... God is so good to teach me through them and in this journey of parenting.

I am nothing without him. I feel completely unworthy and incapable of the task at hand... and I wonder, "Seriously, why on earth did you bring me to this place?"

His answer is always bc I love you and want deeper relationship with you. Perhaps I needed yet another reminding of just how in-over-my-head I am with all these responsibilities that come with abundant blessing... and He was gracious enough to remind me.

Walk with me today, Jesus. I need to feel you close. I am a weary traveler on this journey and need you to carry me today. Amen.